Big News from the Woodworth Family

I want to take a few minutes to share with you some big events going on in our family.  It is an exciting and scary time for us and we would greatly appreciate your prayers!

Since our dating days, Oran and I have discussed adoption.  And when we experienced infertility issues, we had actually begun to research our options and then found out we were pregnant with our precious oldest daughter. The next few years were filled with baby, baby, and baby and for that we are so grateful!  But, the call to adoption never really left our hearts.  After learning about orphans during Christmas time 2012, our sweet 5 year old began to ask us when we were going to “bring home an orphan.”  It was a sweet sentiment and we smiled about it, but over the next few months she kept asking.  Sometimes before bed she would ask me to pray and ask God to bring us an orphan who needed a home.  

During Christmas time 2013, Oran and I started talking seriously about it again.  Our Little Guy was 1 and was finally sleeping through the night, our new home was pretty much done being remodeled and there just didn’t seem to be anything left we needed to wait for anymore.  So we began to talk and pray.  For various reasons, that would take too long to explain, we settled on trying to do the Foster to Adopt program through the State of Missouri.

To be honest, this option has always scared me.  I think I have always been afraid of the “baggage” that might come along with a child in foster care.  I am pretty comfortable in my little life and I have struggled to give up control of whatever may come.  But the Lord has been persistent in working on my heart and has brought me great comfort.  And Oran continually reminds me that maybe that is the exact reason this is what we should do.  Those children need homes, they need love and they need the Lord.  We have all three of those things in abundance and we just simply feel God calling us to step out on faith and trust Him.

Here is where things stand.  We sent in our application and completed fingerprinting in February.  From March through April we completed the 9 classes required for Foster parents and also completed the set of home studies.  Lots of paperwork, references, medical releases, etc. followed!

We are now officially licensed by the state of Missouri as Foster parents and are waiting for a placement.  We are looking for a child under 5 (we have decided it is important for “Butter” to remain our oldest child). While we aren’t looking to be “Foster parents” in the typical sense, with children sort of coming and going all the time, we do know that there is a very good chance that the first child who comes to us won’t necessarily be the one we are able to adopt.  Our plan, unless God leads us differently, is to just take one (or two if it is a sibling set) at a time and continue through the whole process, whether it leads to adoption or reunification. Our ultimate goal is adoption, but it doesn’t always happen quite that easily.  We are available to welcome a child into our home starting in July due to our big vacation that has already been planned for June.

Will you please join us prayer?  Here are 3 specific things we would appreciate you praying about:

1. Our future child(ren): Please pray for our precious little one, who may or may not already be born and enduring awful things.  Pray for God to guide each step to lead him or her to our family.

2. Our other kiddos: This is a difficult process to explain, and while we have tried to be open and honest about all the possibilities, our children are going to be affected by not only the addition of another child to our home, but also by the goodbyes that may happen. Please pray for God to protect their hearts and to give them compassion and understanding beyond their years.

3. Opportunities to share Christ:  This process is opening up a whole new world of people to us. We will be having interactions with not only children, but birth parents, caseworkers, lawyers, juvenile officers, etc.  Please pray that we would be faithful to share the gospel and bring glory to God each step of the way.

We so appreciate each of you that have walked this journey with us so far.  We will keep you updated as best we can, and are so thankful for your prayers. While there is much apprehension about the unknown to come, we also are resting greatly in the knowledge that God is Sovereign over everything, even where government agencies and other people are concerned!  We know that our child will always be in His hands, even as we wait for him or her to be in ours.  

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica

It's hard to imagine adding another one to this group of sillies!

Things I Learned From My Mother

In honor of Mother’s Day, I thought I would write a post about things I learned from my mom.  I actually had to limit my list, because I kept coming up with more things, so I settled on 10.  Enjoy!

1. Jesus - first and foremost, my mother taught me about Christ.  My earliest memories involve church, Bible stories and singing praise together as a family.  I never knew a time that Jesus wasn’t part of my life, even before He saved me personally.  I am so grateful for that, because I know it is rare.  My testimony may seem “boring”, but I wouldn’t change it for anything!  More than anything else, I am so glad my mother showed me Jesus.
2. How to serve in ministry alongside your husband - for my entire childhood, my dad was a minster of music and so I watched my parents serve God and his people together for all of those years.  I saw them in the good times and the bad times of ministry and I learned so much from seeing my mom support my dad.  She served with him, sang with him, prayed for him, and encouraged him in the rough times.  I learned so much from her in that area and now that I am the wife of an Elder, I think often about her example and try to be like her!
3. Stage presence - I have no memories that don’t involve my family singing together.  I sat and watched my parents sing together and lead worship hundreds of times, and then when I got old enough, I joined them. One thing that has always stuck out to me is that my mom truly shows on her face and with her hands the words she is singing.  She is beautiful to watch and I learned a lot about how to lead others in worship by watching her.
4. Teaching Skills - I am not exaggerating when I say that I believe my mom is one of the most gifted teachers I have ever known. I have seen her teach a lot throughout her 30 year career and I so appreciate that she is still using her gifts not only in her job but at church by teaching Sunday School, Family Quest and VBS.  ANYTHING I have learned about teaching pretty much came from watching her. As I begin this homeschooling adventure, I am so thankful to know I can go to her with questions anytime.  She has such a special ability to interact with children in a way that makes them feel special, but also sets high expectations for their behavior and learning. I want to be that way with my kids!
5. Emotions are ok - If you know my family at all, you know that we are an emotional group! And, while sometimes I wish I had more control over my tears, I am thankful for a home that was always a safe place for tears, hurts and fears.  My mom was always the main person I talked to about about the things going on in my life and I never felt belittled in any way for my feelings.  I am a better person because of that safe space she created for me.
6. Affection - My mom was very affectionate with us.  Hugs, kisses, holding hands, rubbing our hair, it didn’t matter. She made me feel loved every day.  One of my favorite memories as a child is that EVERY week in church, mom would stroke my head during the sermon.  If she ever stopped, I would grab her hand and put it back on my head :) because I loved that feeling so much.  I am trying to be this way with my kids.  Affection shows love, and I never doubted that I was loved.
7. Cleanliness/Order - As much as I hated chores as a kid, I am so glad that my mom set such a good example in keeping a home. She was orderly and consistent and taught me all about cleaning, laundry, etc.  I know how to keep my home because of her and even though I went through some messy years as a teenager, I am a neater person now, because of her.  
8. How to shave my legs (and other girly things) - My mom was the best at helping me through each step of becoming a woman.  Even the scary parts were easier because she was honest, open and helpful.  I know that not every girl has a godly woman to guide her through those changes and so I don’t take it for granted that I did. She always spoke highly of womanhood and helped me to see what a gift God had given me in my femininity.  With two daughters of my own, I am grateful to have had such an example as I begin to navigate those same waters. (Yikes)
9. Manners - Both of my parents were raised in the south and because of that, they were sticklers for manners.  Yes mam, Yes sir, napkins in laps, elbows off the tables, and on and on it went.  As a child, it often annoyed me, but for the most part they made the learning process fun and I am not a savage animal because of their training!  And more specifically, my mother showed me daily how a classy, graceful woman should carry herself.  Unfortunately, I didn’t inherit her grace and instead am the clumsy type, but I learned so much from watching her.
10. Redemption - If you have heard my mother’s testimony, you know that God redeemed her out of so much.  Her story has always meant a lot to me, first because I am so thankful to the Lord that He called her to salvation. But, also because it reminds me that there is no hopeless situation.  Our history is NOT our destiny.  Her life has been a constant reminder to me of God’s redeeming power!

My mom would be the first to point out that she wasn’t perfect.  Just like all of us, she has her weaknesses. Any good in her life, is from Christ alone!  But, I do want to take this moment to say: Mom, I am so grateful for you.  I know that you have struggled with hurtful comments and doubts about who you are.  Please hear this: You were a wonderful wife and mother, you are a still a wonderful wife, mother and grandmother, and you are becoming more like Christ each day.  I look up to you and I love you.  All of your work and effort has not been in vain, and it hasn’t been unnoticed.  I am who I am because of you.

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica

Mom Judging

There seems to be an epidemic these days of mom judging and shaming.  I see it all the time in blogs and on social media.  I think this stems from the fact that we all are insecure about how we are doing.  And we want to be the best mom we can be, because we love our children!  The problem is that in order to build ourselves up, it is easy to put others down and judge them for their choices.  I have tried really hard to never do this on Facebook, but the truth is, I do it often in my heart.  It is so tempting to think to myself, “Wow, I would never do that” or “at least I am not that bad”, etc. Please someone tell me I am not alone!

That is to be expected in this fallen world. But, as Christians, we shouldn’t look like the world. People should be able to look at us and see something different.  They should see the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control).  Wow, I can hardly get into that list before I realize how much I fall short.  And the Bible tells us that they will know us by how we love each other.  So, when I am being judgmental toward other Christian women, and comparing myself to them to feel better about myself, I am definitely NOT showing the world that I love Christ.  Ouch.

The ways we are different are so many. Homeschooling or Public School. Stay at home mom or working mom. Spanking or no spanking. Vaccines or no Vaccines. TV or no TV. Natural food or not. On and on it goes.  And those are only the “big” issues.  There are so many more when you take into account personality differences. So how can Christian women possibly find common ground when we may disagree in so many areas?

1. Christ.  I mean, we have the biggest thing in common.  We have been saved by grace!  Christ is what we have in common! Let’s hold onto that when we may not agree in other areas.
2. We love our children.  I think we can probably all agree that we love our kids and want what is best for them.  Even though we may go about it differently, our motivation is the same.
3. The Church.  We are all members of one body (even if we don’t attend the same church). We should be able to love and care for each other in that context.

Please know that I am speaking to myself.  I have a suspicion, though, that I am not the only one who may struggle in this area.  Relationships are hard.  And the body of Christ is made up of sinners, so it gets messy.  But we should be able find love and acceptance with each other, because we won’t find it in the world.  Let’s be an encouragement to one another!  Stay at home moms, let’s pray for working moms each day.  Their work is so important and hard! Public school moms, acknowledge to your homeschooling friends that you see how hard their job is! We need that encouragement.  If you know someone who mothers differently than you, look for the good in what they do and don’t assume your way is better than theirs. Let’s work to love each other, in Christ. We could all use less judging and more loving.  Right?

One quick clarification: I am NOT talking about the Biblical judging of right and wrong and being wise to see what is sin.  The Bible is clear that judging in that way is exactly what we are supposed to do and if we genuinely see a brother or sister in Christ who is living in sin, we are to follow Christ in lovingly and humbly pointing that out.  (See 1 Corinthians 5 and Matthew 7)  I am talking about the kind of judging we do by looking down on each other simply because we aren’t the same.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”  Luke 13:34-35

Soli Deo Gloria, 

Jessica

A Lesson Learned From Getting Shots

Every once in a while, I want to share a short lesson I have learned about God since becoming a parent.  Hope you enjoy:

A disclaimer before I start: let me just say that this post is NOT a statement about getting vaccines or not getting them.  Honestly I am so over the parent judging that goes around and I am simply not going to be a part of it.  This story just happens to include my child getting vaccines.  Can you please read it without seeing some sort of statement on what you should be doing with your child?  I would appreciate it!

A couple of weeks ago I took our “little guy” in for a regular checkup.  He had to get 3 shots while we were there.  It can be such an awful experience (more for me than him it often seems).  During it I was reminded of something that I know about God, but has become so much more real to me as a parent.  When the pain first hit little guy, he looked right up into my face and began to cry and he looked at me like I had betrayed him.  That hit me right in the heart.  He didn’t understand what was happening, so he only knew that mommy was there, and that she was letting him be hurt.  But as the mother, I understood that this pain is actually for his good in the long run.  I knew that the pain would bring about protection from far worse things and so I must allow it to happen.  Isn’t that like God?  I know that in the midst of difficult things, I have looked up to Him and said, “Why are you letting this happen to me?  It hurts so much and you could make it stop.  Why don’t you?”  And He can only remind me that He has my good in mind and that this pain will bring about good in the long run.  We can trust Him!

After the shots were done, I immediately picked up my little guy and held him close. And the amazing part is, he quit crying right away.  He found comfort in my arms and was back to normal very soon.  What a precious picture for us to hold onto!  We can find comfort in our Father’s arms.  He is always there to soothe our hurts.  We can lay our burdens at His feet and know that He cares about us and loves us.

I don’t know what is going on in each of your lives, but I know this: God is sovereign over it, and God is good.  That will never change.  Find your comfort in His arms today and in the knowledge that He is working even the painful things for your good.

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall. 

I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me. 

Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail. 

They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

Lamentations 3:19-24

Soli Deo Gloria, 

Jessica

No Small Thing

One of my favorite movies is “You’ve Got Mail.”  In the movie, there is a line that Meg Ryan’s character says that has stayed with me for a long time. She says, “I live a small life. Valuable, but small.”  I think that resonates with me because that is how I feel about my own life. The day in and day out routine of my life sometimes seems so insignificant, and in some ways it is.  It isn’t earth shattering that I changed 5 diapers today or cooked three meals, or did the dishes or taught a few piano lessons or homeschooled.  And because of that, it is easy to feel like my life doesn’t mean much.  But God has really opened my eyes lately and continues to encourage me that even small lives can be used in great ways for His glory. Here are some things He has helped me to see and I hope they can encourage some of you as well.

*Each meal that I prepare, cook, serve and clean-up is a gift to my family.  I am providing the strength they need to grow, learn and survive the day. I am saying to them: you are valuable, you are important and I am working hard to provide for your basic needs. That is no small thing.

*When I clean my home, pick up toys, do laundry, etc., I am working to give my family a safe haven.  I am showing my husband that I value his hard work and I that I am also working hard to give him a peaceful home and a place to recharge.  I am teaching my children about hard work and not being idle. I am saying to each guest that comes to our house that I value them.  And I am making our home a place of order, rest and peace. That is no small thing.

*Teaching my children is a hard and wonderful thing.  What a heavy responsibility it is, but such a blessing.  I am training up the next generation to know and follow Christ.  The fruits of my work will be evident down the road, even if I can’t see it now, and that is no small thing.

*Only by God’s grace, I have been given gifts in music and each time I use them, whether by teaching piano lessons or by leading in worship, God can take those small efforts of mine and do bigger things than I am capable of on my own.  Music can be a balm for a weary soul or a wonderful way to express joy and worship.  Being able to use my gifts to help people encounter God in worship is a great privilege and it is no small thing.

*Each time I encourage a friend, open my heart with someone or pray for those in my life, I am being used by God to speak truth. He has placed people in my life who may need the testimonies and words I can give. And praying for people makes a difference. Being used by Him in that way is no small thing.

All around me, I see God doing BIG things in people’s lives.  And it is so amazing to be able to support and pray for those families.  But, it can be easy to wonder sometimes, why not me?  Is it ok for my life to feel sort of ordinary?  I think the answer is YES.  We can’t always see how God is working and it may be years and years before I see any of the fruits of my labor.  Still, I must press on in my small life, giving the gift of my time and effort, knowing that big things always start from small things.  My prayers, tears and labors are going to produce a harvest, in God’s timing.  And I am ok with that.  I don’t want to be lazy and never attempt the radical things, but I also need to be content in the times when God has simply asked me to be faithful.  And right now, that is in my home with my little family.  

May I encourage you today if your life seems small?  Don’t believe the lie that because your life seems small that it isn’t of value.  Do the things God has put before you with all of your heart, for His glory.  Your list will look different than mine, but take some time to think about the ways God is using you.  Do it, not to make you feel better about yourself, but to help you give glory to God for how He is using you. I know that God often takes the small things (remember the mustard seed anyone?) and does bigger things than we could even hope for.  I am choosing to trust Him for the results.  Will you join me?

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica

Thoughts on Being an Introvert

I have a confession to make, and it just might surprise you. Ready?  Here it is.

I am an introvert.

Oh, wait, you mean that didn’t surprise you?  Well, if you know me at all, it didn’t. But believe it or not, I can’t even begin to count the number of people who have assumed I am extroverted.  This is most likely because of two things. First, I am always on stage performing or leading in worship and so people tend to expect that I am going to be outgoing.  And secondly, I have been involved in church my whole life and have learned to sort of “fake it.”

Now, before I get ahead of myself, please let me explain something I am recently beginning to understand. The American church and the way it functions, is really an extrovert’s world. In my experience, most things in a church are designed for people who are outgoing. Let me give you two examples. First of all, the “welcome time” during a service.  This is a time when everyone walks around talking to each other, giving hugs, shaking hands, etc.  As an introvert, this is like the WORST possible thing for me.  I feel awkward and uncomfortable.  I am not good at meeting new people and I never know what to say.  In fact, to be honest, one of my favorite things about being involved in the choir is that I am on stage during that time and only have to shake hands with the people right around me, all of which I know!  :)  I'm sure that admission made you cringe.

My second example of the “extroverted church” is the way we tend to encourage Evangelism.  The expectation of most evangelism programs is that Christians should just be able to walk up to strangers and tell them about Jesus.  I have heard many people insinuate that if you can’t do that, you should question if your faith is real. I mean, if you really love people, you would want to tell them about Jesus, right? Well, I must admit I have struggled in this area for my WHOLE life.  I just am simply not made with that kind of personality.  I CAN’T do it.

So, here I am, 34 years old, and I have spent the majority of my life, in church, feeling like I am just not normal.  I have had several people say something to me like, “Wow, I used to think you were such a snob because you didn’t talk to me” or “I always assumed you didn’t like me.”  It has been so difficult for me to feel like I have to explain my personality or to feel constantly misunderstood.  About two years ago, I came across an amazing book called Introverts in the Church: Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam McHugh.  I would HIGHLY recommend it for introverts and also for extroverted leaders in the church who may need their eyes opened a little bit.  Reading this book, and spending a lot of time praying and seeking the Lord in this area, has given me a few insights I’d like to share.  I hope that it may encourage you introverts out there to know that you aren’t alone.  And I also hope it helps those of you who aren’t like me, to understand some people in your life a little bit better.

And one disclaimer:  I realize that not all introverts are the same.  That is the beauty of God’s creative power!  Each individual is unique.  But, these are just some general things I have learned about myself and others that I would like to share.

Introverts were made by God on purpose!  Seems obvious, but I think we act sometimes like we forget this fact.  It has been such an encouragement to me to finally come to realize that my personality is not a mistake.  Just because the culture I live in expects me to be different, doesn't mean I am supposed to act like something I am not.  I believe with all my heart that God intended some to be outgoing and some to be more introspective and quiet.  And guess what?  Both are ok!  And both are equally valuable. 

Introverts love people too!  Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t like people.  In fact, most introverts love very passionately!  For me, I am just more comfortable in smaller settings.  I do better in small groups or with one or two people.  Many introverts are compassionate, loving, kind and thoughtful.  Just because we aren’t able to be outgoing with large groups of people doesn’t mean we aren’t friendly.  We just develop relationships differently.  And that’s ok.

Introverts have strengths that the church needs. Since God made all personality types on purpose, it is logical to assume that the body of Christ needs all different types of people.  In fact, I believe that the church desperately needs the strengths that introverts have.  Introverts tend to be loyal and thoughtful.  Many of them also are very good at observing situations and providing insight.  We tend to be studiers and thinkers. It is so important that we don’t assume that godly leaders must be outgoing and extroverted.  It is vital to the church body that we each find our strengths and gifts and use them for God’s glory.

Introverts like to talk too!  This is a big one!  Many people assume that if you are quiet in public, you are quiet all the time.  WRONG!  My family would tell you that when I am in a setting that is familiar, with people I know well, I often can’t shut up.  I just am not able to be my regular self in a place where I am uncomfortable. I am more private about my life and my inner thoughts except with people I am close to.  But if I know you well and trust you completely, get ready for too much information!

Growing up in the church, and more specifically as the daughter of a minister, I learned very early how to pretend to be outgoing.  Every time I let that facade fall, I would be accused of snobbery or being stuck up.  It is a struggle, but it is an area that I am beginning to see some victory.  I am not there yet, but I think I am growing.

A few final encouragements:

Extroverts: try to have a little patience and understanding.  If you don’t know someone very well, don’t assume you know their motivations or intentions.  Do you think someone was rude to you?  Maybe they are just uncomfortable in certain settings, or their words came out wrong.  Please try not to judge when you don’t really know them.  It would help a whole lot of us who are struggling in an extroverted world!  Please also try hard not to put expectations on people that are merely cultural. Work toward helping introverts use the strengths God has given them.  They may help you fill in the gaps where you are weak!

Introverts: We could stand to try a little harder.  Even though my personality would almost always rather be at home, that isn’t what it means to be part of the body of Christ.  I must make myself be a part of our church even when it isn’t easy.  And, speaking from experience, there is always a blessing when I do.  Although it is hard to make the first step and meet someone new or try to reach out to a new person, it is always worth the effort.  I am so thankful for the times I have overcome my personality and made that step.  Let’s work on showing love and friendliness even when it isn’t natural or easy.

Most importantly, let’s look at the example of Christ.  He spent time with crowds of people when it was necessary, but he also spent time in smaller groups and poured into those lives in a deeper way.  And yes, he even withdrew from everyone from time to time to be alone.  All of those are valid and needed in our lives.  Let’s work to love each other like Christ did, sacrificially.

Thanks for reading!  

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica

Beginnings and introductions!

Welcome to my new blog, Seeking Silver!  I want to take a quick minute and introduce my family and purpose and goal for this blog.  

My name is Jessica.  My husband, Oran and I have been married for 11 years and we are happily raising our three children in the Midwest.  Oran is a Controller for a small Baptist University and I am a stay-at-home wife and mom who is homeschooling and also teaching piano and voice lessons.  Our three kids are “Butter” who is a 5 year old girl, “Apple” who is a 3 year old girl and our “Little Guy” is 1 year old.  We are blessed!

The idea for this blog came out of the fact that my husband and I spend HOURS discussing all kinds of issues and topics.  We have always loved doing that.  And particularly over the past 3 or 4 years we have really been fine-tuning some of our theology and viewpoints on various topics.  I don’t know if anyone will care to read what is on my heart, or some of the ideas that come out of those discussions, but I feel like I am being obedient to the Lord to at least put them down in written form even if only for our children to read one day and have a better idea of who their parents are.

The goal (and name) for my blog comes from Proverbs 2:1-10  It says:

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, 

making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;

yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,

if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,

then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.

For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding;

He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,

guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of His saints.

Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path;

for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;”

I absolutely believe that it is vital for Christians in this day and age to be full of wisdom, knowledge and understanding.  And I believe these things ONLY come from God, and not from the world.  We must seek wisdom and knowledge from the Lord and not be content with ignorance.  In our family, we are making it a goal to continually ask God for wisdom, and to study His word, with the hope that we can help our children as they grow in knowledge and understanding.  This blog is simply my way to share what we are learning.  Some posts will be theological, some will be practical and some will be personal.  But my hope is that all of them will glorify our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Thanks for stopping by!

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica