There seems to be an epidemic these days of mom judging and shaming. I see it all the time in blogs and on social media. I think this stems from the fact that we all are insecure about how we are doing. And we want to be the best mom we can be, because we love our children! The problem is that in order to build ourselves up, it is easy to put others down and judge them for their choices. I have tried really hard to never do this on Facebook, but the truth is, I do it often in my heart. It is so tempting to think to myself, “Wow, I would never do that” or “at least I am not that bad”, etc. Please someone tell me I am not alone!
That is to be expected in this fallen world. But, as Christians, we shouldn’t look like the world. People should be able to look at us and see something different. They should see the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control). Wow, I can hardly get into that list before I realize how much I fall short. And the Bible tells us that they will know us by how we love each other. So, when I am being judgmental toward other Christian women, and comparing myself to them to feel better about myself, I am definitely NOT showing the world that I love Christ. Ouch.
The ways we are different are so many. Homeschooling or Public School. Stay at home mom or working mom. Spanking or no spanking. Vaccines or no Vaccines. TV or no TV. Natural food or not. On and on it goes. And those are only the “big” issues. There are so many more when you take into account personality differences. So how can Christian women possibly find common ground when we may disagree in so many areas?
- Christ. I mean, we have the biggest thing in common. We have been saved by grace! Christ is what we have in common! Let’s hold onto that when we may not agree in other areas.
- We love our children. I think we can probably all agree that we love our kids and want what is best for them. Even though we may go about it differently, our motivation is the same.
- The Church. We are all members of one body (even if we don’t attend the same church). We should be able to love and care for each other in that context.
Please know that I am speaking to myself. I have a suspicion, though, that I am not the only one who may struggle in this area. Relationships are hard. And the body of Christ is made up of sinners, so it gets messy. But we should be able find love and acceptance with each other, because we won’t find it in the world. Let’s be an encouragement to one another! Stay at home moms, let’s pray for working moms each day. Their work is so important and hard! Public school moms, acknowledge to your homeschooling friends that you see how hard their job is! We need that encouragement. If you know someone who mothers differently than you, look for the good in what they do and don’t assume your way is better than theirs. Let’s work to love each other, in Christ. We could all use less judging and more loving. Right?
One quick clarification: I am NOT talking about the Biblical judging of right and wrong and being wise to see what is sin. The Bible is clear that judging in that way is exactly what we are supposed to do and if we genuinely see a brother or sister in Christ who is living in sin, we are to follow Christ in lovingly and humbly pointing that out. (See 1 Corinthians 5 and Matthew 7) I am talking about the kind of judging we do by looking down on each other simply because we aren’t the same.
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” Luke 13:34-35
Soli Deo Gloria,
Jessica
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