Friday, March 28, 2014

A Lesson Learned From Getting Shots

Every once in a while, I want to share a short lesson I have learned about God since becoming a parent.  Hope you enjoy:

A disclaimer before I start: let me just say that this post is NOT a statement about getting vaccines or not getting them.  Honestly I am so over the parent judging that goes around and I am simply not going to be a part of it.  This story just happens to include my child getting vaccines.  Can you please read it without seeing some sort of statement on what you should be doing with your child?  I would appreciate it!

A couple of weeks ago I took our “little guy” in for a regular checkup.  He had to get 3 shots while we were there.  It can be such an awful experience (more for me than him it often seems).  During it I was reminded of something that I know about God, but has become so much more real to me as a parent.  When the pain first hit little guy, he looked right up into my face and began to cry and he looked at me like I had betrayed him.  That hit me right in the heart.  He didn’t understand what was happening, so he only knew that mommy was there, and that she was letting him be hurt.  But as the mother, I understood that this pain is actually for his good in the long run.  I knew that the pain would bring about protection from far worse things and so I must allow it to happen.  Isn’t that like God?  I know that in the midst of difficult things, I have looked up to Him and said, “Why are you letting this happen to me?  It hurts so much and you could make it stop.  Why don’t you?”  And He can only remind me that He has my good in mind and that this pain will bring about good in the long run.  We can trust Him!

After the shots were done, I immediately picked up my little guy and held him close. And the amazing part is, he quit crying right away.  He found comfort in my arms and was back to normal very soon.  What a precious picture for us to hold onto!  We can find comfort in our Father’s arms.  He is always there to soothe our hurts.  We can lay our burdens at His feet and know that He cares about us and loves us.

I don’t know what is going on in each of your lives, but I know this: God is sovereign over it, and God is good.  That will never change.  Find your comfort in His arms today and in the knowledge that He is working even the painful things for your good.

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
    the bitterness and the gall. 
I well remember them,
    and my soul is downcast within me. 
Yet this I call to mind
    and therefore I have hope:
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
    for his compassions never fail. 
They are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
    therefore I will wait for him.”

Lamentations 3:19-24

Soli Deo Gloria, 

Jessica

Friday, March 7, 2014

No Small Thing

One of my favorite movies is “You’ve Got Mail.”  In the movie, there is a line that Meg Ryan’s character says that has stayed with me for a long time. She says, “I live a small life. Valuable, but small.”  I think that resonates with me because that is how I feel about my own life. The day in and day out routine of my life sometimes seems so insignificant, and in some ways it is.  It isn’t earth shattering that I changed 5 diapers today or cooked three meals, or did the dishes or taught a few piano lessons or homeschooled.  And because of that, it is easy to feel like my life doesn’t mean much.  But God has really opened my eyes lately and continues to encourage me that even small lives can be used in great ways for His glory. Here are some things He has helped me to see and I hope they can encourage some of you as well.

*Each meal that I prepare, cook, serve and clean-up is a gift to my family.  I am providing the strength they need to grow, learn and survive the day. I am saying to them: you are valuable, you are important and I am working hard to provide for your basic needs. That is no small thing.

*When I clean my home, pick up toys, do laundry, etc., I am working to give my family a safe haven.  I am showing my husband that I value his hard work and I that I am also working hard to give him a peaceful home and a place to recharge.  I am teaching my children about hard work and not being idle. I am saying to each guest that comes to our house that I value them.  And I am making our home a place of order, rest and peace. That is no small thing.

*Teaching my children is a hard and wonderful thing.  What a heavy responsibility it is, but such a blessing.  I am training up the next generation to know and follow Christ.  The fruits of my work will be evident down the road, even if I can’t see it now, and that is no small thing.

*Only by God’s grace, I have been given gifts in music and each time I use them, whether by teaching piano lessons or by leading in worship, God can take those small efforts of mine and do bigger things than I am capable of on my own.  Music can be a balm for a weary soul or a wonderful way to express joy and worship.  Being able to use my gifts to help people encounter God in worship is a great privilege and it is no small thing.

*Each time I encourage a friend, open my heart with someone or pray for those in my life, I am being used by God to speak truth. He has placed people in my life who may need the testimonies and words I can give. And praying for people makes a difference. Being used by Him in that way is no small thing.

All around me, I see God doing BIG things in people’s lives.  And it is so amazing to be able to support and pray for those families.  But, it can be easy to wonder sometimes, why not me?  Is it ok for my life to feel sort of ordinary?  I think the answer is YES.  We can’t always see how God is working and it may be years and years before I see any of the fruits of my labor.  Still, I must press on in my small life, giving the gift of my time and effort, knowing that big things always start from small things.  My prayers, tears and labors are going to produce a harvest, in God’s timing.  And I am ok with that.  I don’t want to be lazy and never attempt the radical things, but I also need to be content in the times when God has simply asked me to be faithful.  And right now, that is in my home with my little family.  

May I encourage you today if your life seems small?  Don’t believe the lie that because your life seems small that it isn’t of value.  Do the things God has put before you with all of your heart, for His glory.  Your list will look different than mine, but take some time to think about the ways God is using you.  Do it, not to make you feel better about yourself, but to help you give glory to God for how He is using you. I know that God often takes the small things (remember the mustard seed anyone?) and does bigger things than we could even hope for.  I am choosing to trust Him for the results.  Will you join me?

Soli Deo Gloria,
Jessica





Thursday, February 27, 2014

Thoughts on Being an Introvert

I have a confession to make, and it just might surprise you. Ready?  Here it is.

I am an introvert.

Oh, wait, you mean that didn’t surprise you?  Well, if you know me at all, it didn’t. But believe it or not, I can’t even begin to count the number of people who have assumed I am extroverted.  This is most likely because of two things. First, I am always on stage performing or leading in worship and so people tend to expect that I am going to be outgoing.  And secondly, I have been involved in church my whole life and have learned to sort of “fake it.”

Now, before I get ahead of myself, please let me explain something I am recently beginning to understand. The American church and the way it functions, is really an extrovert’s world. In my experience, most things in a church are designed for people who are outgoing. Let me give you two examples. First of all, the “welcome time” during a service.  This is a time when everyone walks around talking to each other, giving hugs, shaking hands, etc.  As an introvert, this is like the WORST possible thing for me.  I feel awkward and uncomfortable.  I am not good at meeting new people and I never know what to say.  In fact, to be honest, one of my favorite things about being involved in the choir is that I am on stage during that time and only have to shake hands with the people right around me, all of which I know!  :)  I'm sure that admission made you cringe.

My second example of the “extroverted church” is the way we tend to encourage Evangelism.  The expectation of most evangelism programs is that Christians should just be able to walk up to strangers and tell them about Jesus.  I have heard many people insinuate that if you can’t do that, you should question if your faith is real. I mean, if you really love people, you would want to tell them about Jesus, right? Well, I must admit I have struggled in this area for my WHOLE life.  I just am simply not made with that kind of personality.  I CAN’T do it.

So, here I am, 34 years old, and I have spent the majority of my life, in church, feeling like I am just not normal.  I have had several people say something to me like, “Wow, I used to think you were such a snob because you didn’t talk to me” or “I always assumed you didn’t like me.”  It has been so difficult for me to feel like I have to explain my personality or to feel constantly misunderstood.  About two years ago, I came across an amazing book called Introverts in the Church: Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture by Adam McHugh.  I would HIGHLY recommend it for introverts and also for extroverted leaders in the church who may need their eyes opened a little bit.  Reading this book, and spending a lot of time praying and seeking the Lord in this area, has given me a few insights I’d like to share.  I hope that it may encourage you introverts out there to know that you aren’t alone.  And I also hope it helps those of you who aren’t like me, to understand some people in your life a little bit better.

And one disclaimer:  I realize that not all introverts are the same.  That is the beauty of God’s creative power!  Each individual is unique.  But, these are just some general things I have learned about myself and others that I would like to share.

Introverts were made by God on purpose!  Seems obvious, but I think we act sometimes like we forget this fact.  It has been such an encouragement to me to finally come to realize that my personality is not a mistake.  Just because the culture I live in expects me to be different, doesn't mean I am supposed to act like something I am not.  I believe with all my heart that God intended some to be outgoing and some to be more introspective and quiet.  And guess what?  Both are ok!  And both are equally valuable. 

Introverts love people too!  Being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t like people.  In fact, most introverts love very passionately!  For me, I am just more comfortable in smaller settings.  I do better in small groups or with one or two people.  Many introverts are compassionate, loving, kind and thoughtful.  Just because we aren’t able to be outgoing with large groups of people doesn’t mean we aren’t friendly.  We just develop relationships differently.  And that’s ok.

Introverts have strengths that the church needs. Since God made all personality types on purpose, it is logical to assume that the body of Christ needs all different types of people.  In fact, I believe that the church desperately needs the strengths that introverts have.  Introverts tend to be loyal and thoughtful.  Many of them also are very good at observing situations and providing insight.  We tend to be studiers and thinkers. It is so important that we don’t assume that godly leaders must be outgoing and extroverted.  It is vital to the church body that we each find our strengths and gifts and use them for God’s glory.

Introverts like to talk too!  This is a big one!  Many people assume that if you are quiet in public, you are quiet all the time.  WRONG!  My family would tell you that when I am in a setting that is familiar, with people I know well, I often can’t shut up.  I just am not able to be my regular self in a place where I am uncomfortable. I am more private about my life and my inner thoughts except with people I am close to.  But if I know you well and trust you completely, get ready for too much information!

Growing up in the church, and more specifically as the daughter of a minister, I learned very early how to pretend to be outgoing.  Every time I let that facade fall, I would be accused of snobbery or being stuck up.  It is a struggle, but it is an area that I am beginning to see some victory.  I am not there yet, but I think I am growing.

A few final encouragements:

Extroverts: try to have a little patience and understanding.  If you don’t know someone very well, don’t assume you know their motivations or intentions.  Do you think someone was rude to you?  Maybe they are just uncomfortable in certain settings, or their words came out wrong.  Please try not to judge when you don’t really know them.  It would help a whole lot of us who are struggling in an extroverted world!  Please also try hard not to put expectations on people that are merely cultural. Work toward helping introverts use the strengths God has given them.  They may help you fill in the gaps where you are weak!

Introverts: We could stand to try a little harder.  Even though my personality would almost always rather be at home, that isn’t what it means to be part of the body of Christ.  I must make myself be a part of our church even when it isn’t easy.  And, speaking from experience, there is always a blessing when I do.  Although it is hard to make the first step and meet someone new or try to reach out to a new person, it is always worth the effort.  I am so thankful for the times I have overcome my personality and made that step.  Let’s work on showing love and friendliness even when it isn’t natural or easy.

Most importantly, let’s look at the example of Christ.  He spent time with crowds of people when it was necessary, but he also spent time in smaller groups and poured into those lives in a deeper way.  And yes, he even withdrew from everyone from time to time to be alone.  All of those are valid and needed in our lives.  Let’s work to love each other like Christ did, sacrificially.

Thanks for reading!  

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Beginnings and introductions!

Welcome to my new blog, Seeking Silver!  I want to take a quick minute and introduce my family and purpose and goal for this blog.  

My name is Jessica.  My husband, Oran and I have been married for 11 years and we are happily raising our three children in the Midwest.  Oran is a Controller for a small Baptist University and I am a stay-at-home wife and mom who is homeschooling and also teaching piano and voice lessons.  Our three kids are “Butter” who is a 5 year old girl, “Apple” who is a 3 year old girl and our “Little Guy” is 1 year old.  We are blessed!



The idea for this blog came out of the fact that my husband and I spend HOURS discussing all kinds of issues and topics.  We have always loved doing that.  And particularly over the past 3 or 4 years we have really been fine-tuning some of our theology and viewpoints on various topics.  I don’t know if anyone will care to read what is on my heart, or some of the ideas that come out of those discussions, but I feel like I am being obedient to the Lord to at least put them down in written form even if only for our children to read one day and have a better idea of who their parents are.

The goal (and name) for my blog comes from Proverbs 2:1-10  It says:

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, 
making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding;
yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding,
if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures,
then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God.
For the Lord gives wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding;
He stores up sound wisdom for the upright; He is a shield to those who walk in integrity,
guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of His saints.
Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path;
for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;”

I absolutely believe that it is vital for Christians in this day and age to be full of wisdom, knowledge and understanding.  And I believe these things ONLY come from God, and not from the world.  We must seek wisdom and knowledge from the Lord and not be content with ignorance.  In our family, we are making it a goal to continually ask God for wisdom, and to study His word, with the hope that we can help our children as they grow in knowledge and understanding.  This blog is simply my way to share what we are learning.  Some posts will be theological, some will be practical and some will be personal.  But my hope is that all of them will glorify our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Thanks for stopping by!

Soli Deo Gloria,

Jessica