Waiting

It feels like I have spent a lot of my life in times of waiting. Waiting to find my husband, waiting for jobs, waiting for a child, waiting to purchase a home, waiting for answers to prayer, waiting for healing, and on and on it goes.  I’m sure you relate.  I must not have learned all I am supposed to about this topic because we find ourselves, once again in a time of waiting.  After finishing everything to become licensed foster/adoptive parents, we have now spent about 5 months waiting for a placement.  It’s been hard for me and I am struggling every day that this drags on.  I know the truth: that God is sovereign over all things, that He has the perfect child(ren) for us to foster/adopt, and that He will bring it all about in His perfect timing and will.  But while I sit every day with this anxious anticipation in my mind, I sometimes forget the truths I know so well.  

Waiting is hard because it feels like doing nothing.  I’m a doer, I see what needs to be done and I handle it.  So waiting for something outside of my control is a serious test in patience.  I want to be “fixing” the problem. I want to be making phone calls and office visits and finding out what is going on.  But all I can do is pray once again, “Lord, please bring us the right child, in your timing and your will. And help me to trust you today when the call doesn’t come.” And while “only praying” can feel like not doing very much, I know better.  I know that prayer often IS the work He has called us to and it isn’t nothing. 

I have been through much longer and more difficult times of waiting so I have learned many things.  It’s too bad I keep forgetting what I have learned!  I decided I needed to write down  these reminders today, to see them with my eyes and pray they settle in my spirit.  These are truths I KNOW because I have experienced each one in the past. I hope they reach you right where you are today.

1. God is GOOD - this never ever ever changes and I can trust that He has my good in mind, even when I don’t understand my circumstance.
2. God is SOVEREIGN - just because there are case workers, parents, courts, etc. involved in this particular part of our life, doesn’t mean God isn’t there.  He is over all of those things and His Will will be accomplished in spite of, and through, people.  I can trust that.
3. There are many BLESSINGS that come from waiting - I can look back and see a lot of things in my life that came directly from periods of waiting.  A deeper prayer life, wisdom, ministry to others, all of these are blessings God has given me that came through waiting.  I wouldn’t trade any of them!
4. Precious FRIENDSHIPS - I have several close relationships that were built through shared experiences of waiting.  And so many people who have joined us in prayer during certain times of our lives.  These bonds don’t go away and I am so thankful to have built these lasting friendships even though they were built through hard times.
5. PEACE that comes from Christ, not circumstances - Ultimately, I am most thankful for the supernatural peace that God brings to me even when I am questioning why.  It is not from me, and it certainly isn’t from my circumstances.  It can only be from the Lord.  

Well, there you go.  Five things we can rest in today, five things we can be thankful for even as we wait.  I hope and pray that some day in the future I have a different kind of update for you, one about our new foster child and how you can pray for us as we transition.  But today, I only have this: we continue to wait, we continue to pray, we continue to struggle, and we continue to trust in the only One we can.

Soli Deo Gloria, 

Jessica