This is a blog post that has been running through my mind for awhile but I have avoided writing it for fear of offending someone. The last thing I want to do is to seem like I am being judgmental, but I also want to edify and encourage other moms, so I decided that since this is an area I struggle with, I might not be alone!
I read a lot of blogs. And a theme of many mommy blogs seems to be: “Let go of perfection! Don’t be so hard on yourself! You can’t do it all!” Let me start by saying, I wholeheartedly agree. Too often we are trying so hard to be all that we think we are supposed to be to each person in our life that we find ourselves completely spent. And many times that leaves our relationship with God lacking, or our marriage struggling. I absolutely agree with all of these posts, that we need to let go of perfection and allow some things to drop in order to do the things that matter.
Here is the problem, I have known many people who take that encouragement too far (including myself). It is almost like a badge of honor these days to say that we are just so busy and our house is a mess, or that we can’t get everything done. And if those things are true because we truly are focusing on the most important things (God, marriage, family) then good! But if it is simply because we are being lazy, not good! If the laundry isn’t done because we have run out of time while putting God and family first, wonderful! But if the laundry isn’t done because we wasted our day with TV, Facebook and laziness, that is sin. There is a fine line here that I think we cross in both directions. Of course we can’t be “pinterest perfect” all of the time, nor should we be. But if our home and family are in shambles constantly and our life feels like chaos, something isn’t right.
If I am honest with myself, I have to admit that there are enough hours in the day most of the time to do all that I need to do. Of course, there are times where that isn’t true. All kinds of things (newborns, sickness, family issues, work deadlines, vacations, etc.) can mess up our schedule and that’s ok. That’s just life. My problem is when it becomes a habit, when our homes are more often than not full of chaos instead of peace. I just don’t think that is how God made us to live.
I think it is a good idea for us to take stock, every so often, of all the things in our lives. Some commitments are non-negotiable. Our relationship with God, our marriage, raising our children, managing our home, these are our primary callings as women according to God’s word (See Titus 2). If anything else we are doing makes us neglect these areas, we must humbly and honestly bring it to the Lord and ask for His wisdom and direction. Many things are good, but the question we need to ask is are they best.
I know these issues are small in the scope of all that is going on in the world. And I must be very careful to fix my eyes on Jesus in all things and live life with an eternal perspective. I realize that laundry getting done doesn’t make or break eternity. But, I also need to be faithful to my calling, which is to manage my home for God’s glory, to provide a loving and peaceful place for my husband to recharge, and to give my children a safe and comfortable place to grow physically and spiritually. That may not be earth shattering, but it is important to them so it should be important to me!
One other encouragement: let’s not judge each other. Some of us struggle with perfectionism and some of us struggle with laziness. They can both be sin and in a lot of ways are two sides of the same coin. One is not better or worse than the other. Unfortunately, they can both affect a family in negative ways. May we each seek God and see where we could be better, and then make those changes! May we be willing to let go of those things that hinder our calling, even things we may enjoy, in order to do what is best for our families. And may we find grace at the cross when we fail! Praise God for his mercy to me!
Soli Deo Gloria,
Jessica
Love!!!! Thanks for sharing:)
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